


not okay at all

by oktavia (orphan_account)



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alvin Ruining Jude's Life, First Time, M/M, Premature Ejaculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:04:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6173947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/oktavia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin wants his first time with Jude to be the good kind of memorable. Unfortunately, Alvin can never do anything right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not okay at all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [healing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/healing/gifts).



> i originally wrote this for @healing, but i want to take this time to dedicate it to everyone who has stuck with me through this terrible writers block of mine. thank you all! i am for you!

"Are you okay?!"

Jude clambers to the foot of the bed to look down at Alvin, who's crumpled on the floor after slicing his shin on a loose spring of the boxspring. 

Alvin is pressing on the gash with both hands and hissing, but he's quick to remember the lost perfection of the moment and releases his leg. He stands up with a grunt of effort, rubbing his fingertips against his palms.

"I'm fine, Jude, really," he grits out. "Let me get this cleaned up real quick. I'll be back for you in a second."

Alvin puts as much coyness in his tone as possible, but his nerves get the better of him yet again, so he overdoes it and feels absolutely ridiculous. The first thing he thinks of is an overacting porn star.

Jude watches Alvin head to the bathroom with a concerned, sympathetic expression, but he scoots back into the center of the bed and waits, knees pressed together and full-body flush returning.

It's by no means Alvin's first time having sex, but it's his first time with Jude, and he promised himself he would make it the good kind of memorable. He wanted to be gentle and thorough and loving, wanted to make sure Jude knew he was loved and trusted and that Alvin wanted him to trust him too. It was a pivotal moment in their relationship, especially for Alvin.

That meant making this night as perfect as possible. It was a monumental amount of pressure, more than it ought to be, he knew-- but this was Jude, one of the best things to ever happen to him. Even with every bit of nervousness eating away at him, and even with setback after setback, Alvin was determined to keep going and salvage their evening.

After he dabs away the blood and waits for the bleeding to stop, Alvin takes a deep breath to brace himself before rounding the corner and returning to their bedroom. Jude is waiting for him, red-cheeked and demure and perfect, _just perfect_ , and Alvin swears he's falling in love all over again.

"Are you...okay?" Jude asks tentatively.

Alvin smiles gently as he approaches him, and takes care to climb onto the bed on a different side. He hovers over Jude, the lovingness in his gaze twinged with far more worry than he realizes.

He looks truly pained, and it compels Jude to reach up and stroke his cheek.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jude asks once more, voice low and quiet.

Alvin reaches up, cups Jude's cheek, and tilts his face up. He leans in, and ends up knocking his forehead to Jude's. Jude yelps, hand flying up to cover the spot, but he laughs it off.

Alvin is far less amused. "Shit, did I hurt you?"

"No," Jude says with a chuckle, and he leans up to peck Alvin on the lips. "It's fine. Just relax, okay?"

Slowly, Alvin tries again, and is finally able to fit their mouths together in a soft, languid kiss.

He's surprised when they're able to fall into their personal, hazy little world, and before he knows it, Jude is laying beneath him, arms looped around his neck, Alvin laying on top of him.

Jude squirms a bit, his knees pressing up gently, and it takes Alvin a moment to realize that he has Jude completely pinned beneath him.

He breaks the kiss to murmur, soft, "Sorry."

Jude chuckles again, and spreads his legs when Alvin lets his weight up. Without missing a beat, Jude initiates another kiss, but Alvin kicks himself once more for the oversight.

Jude pulls Alvin back against him, and they kiss until Jude is pressing up against Alvin's hips.

Alvin can't say that he's as worked up as Jude is, but he presses back anyway, hoping that the heated contact will push his nerves out of his head.

It hardly works, and Jude rocks his hips up again, albeit more tentatively this time. Trying to compensate, wanting to show Jude that he _wants_  this just as much as he does, Alvin thrusts his hips against Jude, jostling the boy slightly, and Jude can't help the little noise of surprise.

"Uh," is all Alvin manages before he tries to distract Jude with another long kiss. Jude smiles against his mouth, runs a hand through his hair, and keeps trying, rutting his hips against Alvin's.

After far too long, Alvin is half-hard and screams at himself to take it to the next step lest Jude grow bored with him.

With a parting kiss to Jude's mouth, he sits up and tugs the boy's shorts off. The elastic catches on Jude's erection, making his dick bob when Alvin yanks them off abruptly, Jude gasps at the sudden change of temperature, which causes Alvin to start in his fear of hurting the boy.

As if sensing his the barest hint of his worry, Jude smiles shyly before taking a deep breath and nudging his knees apart. He's completely red, but the trust and adoration in his eyes is undeniable; it glimmers in this bright and beautiful and profound way that makes Alvin's breath catch in his throat.

He looks between Jude's flushed erection and the boy's face, debating whether he wants to suck him off or not, but is quick to decide that Jude probably isn't interested in that sort of thing right now. Instead, Alvin slides his pajama bottoms down.

He ends up falling on his side in his attempts to kick them off completely, but Jude says nothing, even when Alvin tries to play it off by correcting his posture by slithering his way up the side of the bed and reaching for the bedside table.

After several attempts where Alvin's fingertips brush against the knob, Jude rolls onto his side to open the drawer, and plucks the bottle of lubricant they'd set aside just for the occasion. With a soft but excited smile, he places the bottle in Alvin's hand before settling onto his back once again.

Alvin struggles with the cap somewhat, having forgotten to unwrap the plastic around it, and ends up having to bite at a loose corner before yanking the shell off, the plastic's loud crackling filling the room.

Eyeing Jude, watching the boy watch him, Alvin turns the bottom upside down and gives it a hard squeeze over his fingers. However, he'd forgotten to uncap it, so lubricant ends up bursting through the hole and shooting out, striping a thick and clear trail from his fingertips, pooling in his palm, and reaching all the way up past his wrist.

"Shit," Alvin hisses in annoyance, and instinctively gives his arm a hard shake, sending lubricant flying everywhere.

"A-- Alvin!"

When Alvin feels the bed shift from Jude shooting up, he looks over at the boy and sees him wiping a glob of lube out of his eye. Some of it had landed on his chest and over his bottom lip, and while normally Alvin would have let his imagination get the better of him and imagine the lube as cum or some other erotic fluid (he quickly asks himself what other erotic fluids there _are_  exactly), right now he's too nervous and embarrassed to think about anything other than the way Jude is wiping his hands on their comforter.

"Jude, you alright?" he asks quickly, reaching forward to run his thumb over Jude's bottom lip. When Jude sputters, he suddenly remembers that some of the lube had ended up on his thumb, and quickly draws his hand away.

Jude laughs, breathless but definitely forced, as he continues wiping his face with the back of his hand. "I-- It's okay, Alvin. Don't worry."

Alvin glances about the room helplessly, as if searching for a form of divination to decide whether or not he should even continue at this point.

When he looks back to Jude's face with the intent to tell him that they should try this again some other time, he's rendered breathless by Jude's kind, understanding smile. The boy even reaches forward and curls a hand around Alvin's wet one.

"Relax," he says, and visibly lays himself back down, and gives Alvin's hand a squeeze.

Alvin swallows hard. "Relax? I'm the picture of relaxation," he says as he situates himself between Jude's legs.

Jude chuckles, and visibly relaxes as Alvin squeezes even more lube onto his fingers out of reflex. The bottle gives a vile sputtering noise as it quickly empties.

Alvin pales for a moment before tossing the bottle in a manner that he hopes is nonchalant. With all the focus in the world, he slowly stretches Jude and fingers him open. Jude's receptivenes to his fingers fills him with a bit more confidence, and by the time he draws his fingers out, he's screaming at himself to make sure the rest of this experience goes without a hitch.

Alvin focuses deeply, eyes narrowed at he slowly, slowly, slowly guides the head of his cock to Jude's entrance. He has to give himself a few pumps beforehand to harden completely, but soon he's nudging at the taut skin.

With a grunt of effort, Alvin presses in, and breaches Jude after a few lingering moments.

"You okay?" he asks with a slight growl.

Jude is panting and flushed, clutching the sheets at his side, but he cracks an eye open and looks up at Alvin with reverence and hunger.

"It feels _amazing,_  Alvin," he says, low and breathless. "You can move soon, okay?"

Alvin nods, and waits almost an entire minute before finally sliding in the rest of the way. He plants his hands on either side of Jude's little shoulders to brace himself, and when Jude trails his hands up Alvin's arms before linking them around his neck, Alvin takes that as his cue to move.

Alvin draws out slowly before pushing back in with just as much gentleness, and Jude hums at how good the light friction feels already.

As Alvin begins picking up his pace, setting a slow but steady rhythm to let Jude adjust, he begins to lose himself to the heat and pressure of Jude's body. It feels as if they're meant to _be,_ more than just mentally and spiritually, but physically. Alvin never could have imagined in his entire life that a connection like this was possible, that something as amazing as this was _meant_  for him. Jude feels amazing, as if he's pulling him in further and further, like wants them to become one and--

With a grunt, Alvin's hips stutter, and he fills Jude with a few spurts of cum, a weak orgasm taking him before he'd even had the chance to up his pace beyond something slow and cautionary.

Jude gasps, grinding down against him, but it's too late; Alvin is limp and completely, utterly horrified at himself.

A few long beats pass, Alvin staring down at Jude, eyes unwatching as he tries to process the utter patheticness of what he'd just done. He barely notices when Jude laughs breathlessly and strokes his cheek with his thumb.

"Don't be embarrassed," he says gently, tilting his head to hold Alvin's gaze. "That's the point, right? For that kind of thing to happen, so--"

"That is--"

"It's okay," Jude repeats before leaning up to press a reassuring kiss to Alvin's lips. "Everyone gets stage fright. How about we try again later, and I'll take the lead this time?"

Alvin stutters, words failing him completely as he continues trying to process everything that had lead up to this moment.

Jude takes his gawking as an expression of nervous approval, so he gives Alvin a sweet smile before kissing him on the forehead.

"I'll be gentle."


End file.
